Selfish or Healthy?

Well, Mom is spending her first day "at home" today. Except she's been everywhere but home. Ed is with my parents in Taunton right now while I'm home near Worcester. My parents and Ed made an executive decision and gave me the day off. I feel a little guilty about it, but Ed is between jobs right now and they've been running errands all day. I suggested to my mother that I come down before class and she sounded a little tense. Apparently my evil sister-in-law is coming down with the grandkids and my mother is afraid that I'll scare my nephews.

So I'll spend the day tomorrow. My brother and his family will be moving that day, so my mom can breathe easy. If I sound like I'm rationalizing, it's because I am. Why is it so hard to take a day off? As a society, I think we often put others before ourselves, not even taking a break when we need it. I don't think that's the way to better health. But I don't think taking a day off if you can't do it without self-flagellation is any good either. Why is it we have such a hard time saying this is what I need to stay healthy?

The doctors agree that my mother's heart attack was from stress. Stress she had been holding in and not dealing with because she put everyone else's comfort first. Where is the line between taking care of ourselves and being selfish? I think Americans often have a heard time recognizing the difference. For example, Ed is spending the day with my parents today so I can catch up on some work. So I told him that I would spend tomorrow with my parents while he stays home and relaxes. He's fighting me on it right now. Not because he doesn't need a break, but because in his heart of hearts, he feels like it is morally wrong to do something for himself if everyone else's needs aren't met.

In turn, my parents are insisting their fine because they don't want to be a burden or to selfishly absorb our time. So they would rather disobey doctor's orders rather than have us take time to help them out.

I have no words of wisdom here. I can only say what I've observed is that in general our society doesn't seem to have a healthy attitude. We either can't seem to take care of ourselves because we're too busy taking care of others or we only take care of ourselves and don't even notice others around us.

So when is it okay to be selfish?

What a Week

My mother came home from the hospital tonight. The doctors did not find any blockages or damage to her heart. So, again, thank you for all of you who are pulling for her. It looks like she's going to be okay.

What the doctors believed happened is that my mother got so stressed out that she actually shocked her heart. She claims it was my engagement -- a day she thought she'd see sometime after the Apocalypse.

But needless to say we're all very happy to have her home. Her and my dad are going to need us around a bit more, but things are looking positive.

And Tess, I have no idea how people can be so cold. I'm just glad I relieved my stress before I had a heart attack myself. I'm still grinning about it!

Getting Healthy

Thanks to Tess and others for their prayers. My mother and I both appreciate them. She's still in the hospital tonight. They're running more tests tomorrow.

More and more, I realize there are all different kinds of ways to be healthy. One can just be putting your anger in the right place. Doctors believe my mother's heart attack may have been stress-induced. A fancy way of saying she's holding her anger in. So today I did my heart good and let some of my anger out.

My sister-in-law is a raving witch (substitute that for the word of your choice). I called her and my brother today to ask them if they could give my father a ride to a doctor's appointment. They said they were too busy. She suggested that my parents face up to the fact that they need to hire someone to take care of them.

She constantly says that it's not her and my brother's responsibility to help our. She's also naturally thin and blond, so she's always good for throwing a few snide weight-related remarks my way. Finally today four years of anger came tumbling out, mixed in with a lot of four-letter words.

I suppose I should feel bad for losing control of my temper. But I have to tell you -- I feel great. I feel about 20 pounds lighter. I took control and refused to allow myself to be bullied any more. Even better... they agreed to give my father a ride.

So look at that person that's really making your life miserable. Then, tell them off. It feels as good as going for a run. And all that stress really can land you in the hospital.

Holy Cow

That about sums it up. This has been a crazy weekend. Ed and I headed to Chicago, the culinary Paris of the Midwest. I'm sure you can fill in the blanks. We spent the weekend walking around and eating deep dish pizza.



But I have new motivation to stay in shape.



Ed proposed.



I'm not kidding, even though I thought he was when he asked me. We were in Millennium Park, in front of The Bean, when Ed dropped to one knee and proposed. Even better, there were teenagers nearby who erupted into cheers when I said yes. It was a blast. Here's a picture Ed and I took of The Bean at night. Notice the Chicago skyline reflected in the background.






Needless to say, I'd like to be a slender and lithe bride, but I'll settle for average.

On a more serious note, my mother had a heart attack today. I wish I could say I didn't see this coming, but she's overweight, doesn't watch what she eats and avoids exercise at all costs. Even the slightest physical exertion leaves her flushed and breathless.

It happened today while she was at work. She felt chest pains radiating down her left arm, so she decided to make a doctor's appointment. For tomorrow. No kidding. Fortunately, she works in a doctor's office and they called 911.

But I can see myself in her. We're built the same. In the future I'm stiff from lack of exercise, my heart is out of shape and even getting up off the couch requires some effort. I was kind of thinking that when I'm 65, Ed and I will be riding camels through Egypt and I'll be whining about the hot sun. I don't want to spend the retirement years sitting in a hospital bed with oxygen up my nose.

So I've had two big kicks to get up and get working out. Time to break out the Denise Austin and get moving.

And if you're reading this, say a quick prayer for my mom.

Welcome to 2007

Okay, I'm trying a podcast here. I spent the weekend talking to some of my fellow waitresses about the challenges of staying fit and healthy when you're surrounded by food. It was a lot of fun to hear different points of view, and it definitely proved I'm not alone. None of us are. Anyway, here are the results:

Donna's First Podcast EVER!!!!

Get Fit and Creative

While surfing the news for the latest in health and fitness, one thing I noticed today is there is an awful lot of stories about ways to make fitness more interesting. It seems like the newest and best thing is something that can promise us a little change from the daily fitness grind.

I don't know what it is about exercise, but doing it day after day can get boring. Especially if you don't vary the routine. Every now and then it also comes up in fitness news that if you don't vary your fitness regimen, not only do you get bored, but your body gets bored, and starts burning calories more efficiently. In other words, you're working your butt off, but it's not going anywhere.

So a couple of thoughts on this:

Skip an exercise routine. Just try to move for 30 minutes every day in whatever way strikes your fancy. If you're in the mood to take a walk, don't deny yourself the pleasure because it's your strength-training day.

If you can, work out with a friend. Even if the routine is the same, the conversation will be different. Just be wary of this. When a friend of mine had a baby a few years ago, we tried doing an exercise tape together every day. At one point we spent the entire morning in our sweat pants, eating Oreos, playing with the baby and watching Jerry Springer. So maybe it's better to work out with an acquaintance.

Join a gym. Many of them offer free classes to members. Then you have built in variety -- and access to the latest trends. There's an article in phillyburbs.com about Zoomba, a mixture of aerobics and Latin dance that's making an appearance in gyms. There's also belly-dancing, Pilates, yoga, boxing and even pole dancing.

Use a medicine ball. These can add a new challenge to your strength training. And, if you happen to be a bit of a klutz (yes, my boyfriend calls me Donzilla), just trying not to fall off the ball can bring a whole new challenge to your workout.

And finally, for those who can, try a personal trainer a few times a week. They can tailor a workout especially for you, including functional fitness. What's more motivating than someone who's sole purpose that day is to get you out of bed and working out?

Please note, these are just my thoughts on fitness, and I'm certainly not a doctor.

Sometimes, Bigger is Just Bigger

The Stockton Record out in California (that haven of all things slim) has a great article about portion sizes. Typically restaurants serve enough food per plate to feed two people. The article, written by Sara Cardine, discusses how these large servings are beginning to affect what we eat at home. Namely, Americans are all out of whack when it comes to determining a portion size. It even comes with a handy-dandy guide to portion sizes. Some myths the article addresses as well:

Myth: Eating the correct portion sizes and amounts will never fill me up.
Fact: The stomach has an amazing ability to stretch and shrink to accommodate your intake. When you eat less, eventually a shrunken stomach will register fullness faster.

Myth: I'm a man and I need my meat.
Fact: "People think of protein as only meat," restaurant consultant John Britto said. "There are lots of other proteins in your diet." These include beans, nuts, seeds and eggs.

Myth: Now I'll never be able to eat out.
Fact: When you order your food at a sit-down restaurant, ask for a to-go box and put the extra aside for future meals.

Myth: It'll cost an arm and a leg to buy all those fruits and vegetables.
Fact: Buying produce in season will cut costs. Frozen versions, packed with all the same nutrients, are another option. Bad food and big portions can cause serious health risks in the long run, dietitian Rosario Aguirre said. "Is that worth the money?"

It's funny this article comes out now. I was watching my boyfriend's youngest daughter eat last night. She had an appetizer, an entree and dessert. But she only had a little bit of each. She started with mozzarella sticks, leaving some on her plate simply because she was done. I thought she was full, but no, she then ate about half her pizza. Finally, she finished up with a small serving of ice cream. While her food choices aren't all I could wish for, I love her eating style. Somehow she has a handle on how much she can eat of any one course and still save room for what's coming up. Not me. I eat until it's gone. Then, if I'm too full, I soldier on, since I ordered it, the food is so good, this is my favorite part of the meal, or whatever excuse pops into my head.

I don't think I need add that my boyfriend's daughter is naturally skinny. Which prompts me to ask, how many "naturally thin" people instinctively have better habits? I'm sure hereditary, and sometimes medical conditions play a role in our weight, as well, but perhaps there is more in our control than we realize. Perhaps part of "hereditary fat" is simply bad habits that are passed on from generation to generation. I'm going to try to eat like my boyfriend's daughter this week and see what happens.